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Republican Trolls – They send my mind in strange directions

Posted on : 08-08-2013 | By : Guest Blogger | In : George Bush, GOP, Stuff that makes me Crazy

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Guest post by Brenda Cornwell

republican-trollTrolls. They send my mind in strange directions.

In response to my recent post on Lady Liberals of the infamous August 6th, 2001, Presidential Daily Briefing, one “critical thinker” asked “what was Bush supposed to do? Ground all airplanes?”

So as my mind began to formulate a witty, yet perfectly demeaning comment, I came up with this little scenario:

Let’s take a trip in the Lady Liberal’s Way-Back machine to April 10th, 2004. Our Way-Back machine doesn’t work very well (YOU try and find someone who can repair a Way-Back machine!) So when we go back in time, things get a little mixed up to say the least. In this trip, we find the U.S. post-9/11…and here’s the part that got mixed up…the President is Barack Obama.

Let’s listen in to the conversation on Fake News and Outrage & Friends with the three perky, blonde bombshell commentators (yeah, that part got mixed up as well!):

Brenda: Breaking news! We were just handed a declassified document that was hand-delivered to President Barack Obama on August 6, 2001. The title of the Presidential Daily Briefing is “Bin Laden Determined to Attack in the US.”

This is shocking I say. Absolutely shocking! And Mindy, you know where the President was when people were desperately trying to get his attention focused on terrorism? An imminent threat is looming and where was the President of the United States? Let me tell you where he was…he was on VACATION!

Mindy: Shameful, absolutely disgusting. I agree completely. This is an outrage. Where was this President? He was on vacation on the tax payer’s dime. He couldn’t be bothered to fly back to Washington and deal with this warning! This is an unimaginable failure! This is beyond the pale. Over 3,000 Americans died on 9/11 and now we find out the President was TOLD it was going to happen!

Carla: I’m reading directly from the PDB now: ‘FBI information since that time indicates patterns of suspicious activity in this country consistent with preparations for hijackings or other types of attacks, including recent surveillance of federal buildings in New York.’ And they told us…and I quote the National Security Advisor here: “I don’t think anybody could have predicted that these people would take an airplane and slam it into the World Trade Center”

Mindy: OMG! Who could have imagined? Apparently someone could imagine it! Are these people insane?

Brenda: They knew that Al Qaida operatives were in the United States and this administration did nothing? NOTHING!

Carla: And there is a report out there that President Obama’s reaction…this is stunning folks, I hope you are sitting down…President Obama’s response to this PDB was ‘All right. You’ve covered your ass now.’

Mindy: I am just sick to my stomach at the inability of this President to keep this country safe. 3,000 lives lost because of incompetence. Congress will be starting impeachment hearings soon, count on it.

Carla: Impeachment? He should be tried for treason. We will be right back with more on this breaking news story, stay with us folks. It’s going to get a lot worse for this ridiculous excuse of a leader.

Of course none of that happened now did it? But I think you get the picture. Go ahead…someone…tell me to “get over it.”

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The war against gobbledygook – Daffy definitions

Posted on : 06-07-2012 | By : vlramirez | In : Stuff that makes me Crazy




Daffy definitionsA friend sent me this, she found an old article that her father had.  She didn’t know when it was published, there was no date, but had to be a while ago, there’s no mention of electronics.  She also doesn’t know the name of the publication, but whenever it was, it’s still so valid today.  

I’ve heard a few of these come out of the mouths of politicians recently:

Daffy definitions as the ammunition to deflate fuzzy words and phrases:

  • It’s in process — so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is almost hopeless.
  • We’ll look into it — by the time the wheel makes a full turn, we assume that you’ll have forgotten about it too.
  • Program — any assignment that can’t be completed by one phone call.
  • Expedite — to confound confusion with commotion.
  • Coordinator — the guy who has a desk between two expediters. 
  • Consultant (or Expert) — any ordinary guy with a briefcase more than 50 miles away from home.
  • Meeting — a mass mulling by masterminds.
  • Conferences — a place where conversation is substituted for the dreariness of labor and the loneliness of thought.
  • Negotiate — to seek a meeting of minds without a knocking together of heads.
  • Reliable source — the guy you just met.
  • Informed source — the guy who told the guy you just met.
  • Unimpeachable source — the guy who started the rumor originally.
  • Clarification — to fill in the background with so many details that the foreground goes underground.
  • We will advise you in due course — if we figure it out, we’ll let you know.
  • Let’s get together on this — I’m assuming you’re as confused as I am.
  • Forwarded for your consideration — you hold the bag awhile.
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